Men, This Is For You Too!

Men, thou shalt be interested in learning about childbirth!

Men, while it’s true your wife is the one who actually births your child, that doesn’t mean you are just a spectator! As husbands we ought to educate ourselves on what to expect when it comes to pregnancy, labor, and childbirth. That way we can compassionately care for our wives through all of it. God calls us as husbands to care for our wives and this calling applies to pregnancy and childbirth as well! To best care for our wives we need to educate ourselves on what to expect and how to help out during pregnancy, labor, childbirth, and beyond. We need to be proactive in caring for our wives during this delicate and painful time.
While educating ourselves is important, there are also other aspects that need to be unpacked as well for us Dads. We need to be sure to prepare for the journey with our wives, we need to stay emotionally connected and discuss our desires are fears, especially those regarding childbirth. We need to encourage and care for one another as we are commanded in scripture.
I will dig into many aspects of what this looks like and how we are called to best care for our wives during pregnancy and childbirth. Expect to see one post a month aimed towards husbands and fathers.

Preparing Together

Today we are blessed to be able to have our husbands with us in our birthing room. This is such a special privilege. But with that privilege also comes responsibility. For husbands and wives to be ready to work together in the birthing room, they need to prepare together during pregnancy.

God has given us each other as life partners, and pregnancy and childbirth are part of that life. With my five pregnancies in Louisville, I was blessed to take a Mama’s day out to prepare for my births. With our sixth baby, Jim and I really made time to prepare together, and let me tell you, it made a HUGE difference! Life had been quite different than we had expected and we needed to take time to share what was going on in our hearts as we prepared for our sixth child.

It was hard, emotional and messy.

But it allowed Jim to know where I was and allowed me to know where he was. It drew us closer together.

Something we sometimes forget as women is that childbirth is stressful for men as well, though in a different way. They are the leaders of the homes and there is a lot on their shoulders as they prepare to provide for and lead another person. Men also have the natural desire to rescue and keep those they love from pain. Pregnancy and birth is a time when they can often feel helpless as there is little they can do to rescue us from what is happening. This is hard for them!

As their helpers, we then can help them by sharing our hearts, what we are hoping for, what we are fearing as well as learn with them what is normal and abnormal, what options there are and discuss your desires for labor.

This is not a one woman show!

How can you prepare together?

Each of you pray individually and strengthen your relationship with God daily

Pray together regularly

Talk with each other regularly- talk about everything, but also make space to discuss fears and frustrations as well as desires for birth and what your desire for your family to be like post baby is

Dream and Plan together

Be open and honest

Practice relaxing together- This helps in preparing for birth and teaches you what you need him to do to help you relax during labor

Have fun together

In preparing together and going through birth together, it will strengthen your marriage as you learn to love and serve each other to welcome new life.

How do you prepare with your husband?

Pregnancy Prepares You For Birth

A couple years ago, a dear Sister, Ashley, said to me, “We have to be miserable at the end so that we will welcome labor.” I remember thinking, “That is beyond true!” It seems that all of pregnancy is that way, because pregnancy is preparing us for labor, delivery and motherhood.

As I shared in Preparing for Pregnancy, pregnancy is a time where we learn on a deeper level that our life is not our own and sacrifice marks the life of motherhood.

Let’s be honest; pregnancy is hard for most and often not very much fun. There’s nausea, vomiting, fatigue, dizziness, growing and stretching, the use of muscles you didn’t know you had, sleeplessness, restlessness, pulling, swelling and more. At times it can be very uncomfortable and even painful. But all of it is preparation for the hard work of labor,  delivery of the baby and parenting this new life. Everything in this time period takes sacrifice on our parts. We want to feel good and “normal,” yet we feel anything but.

Every bit of the changes, challenges and pain prepare us to welcome labor.

How does it prepare us?

It prepares us physically

The constant reminder that our boyd is not truly ours, but an instrument of God’s to use as He sees fit if every present. All of the physical changes we feel are preparing our body to be able to give birth and sustain life. Elastin helps everything to open up so there is room for baby. The vomiting strengthens our ab muscles. Our breasts swell and grow to prepare to offer sustenance to our little babes. In spite of how physically tired or sick we feel, we still must get up and do work as God has called us to do, whether in or out of the home. All of it is building us up so that we can give birth when the proper time arrives.

It prepares us mentally

Pregnancy can be quite taxing. But it is also a time for us to prepare mentally for what is to come. Birth is as much mental as it is physical. While it is impossible to know what exactly will happen, pregnancy is a time to educate ourselves on the birth process, learning what is normal and not normal, hearing others stories and learning what an amazing design birth is. All of this helps us prepare mentally for birth. If you are not mentally prepared for birth, it can take you for an unpleasant surprise, and that is not ideal. While the curse has made labor more difficult, it is still an amazing blessing and as we think on what is to come at the end of this trying time, we become ready to welcome the new life that God is giving to us.

It prepares us emotionally

Emotions are always present when dealing with major life changes, and pregnancy seems to accentuate emotions to the nth degree! The hormone fluctuation that happen throughout pregnancy do not help with unstable emotions either. One moment we may be over the moon with excitement at a new life and the next scared to death we may lose it with a wide variety of other emotions mixed in there. It can be a bit overwhelming. But knowing this, we can learn how to control our emotions with Truth!

Our emotions are God given and meant to give us a fuller experience of life. So let’s step into them in a healthy way. As we experience joy, let’s remind ourselves that God is the giver of all joy and life and be thankful for His joy. If we experience fear, let’s take it to Him and remind ourselves that in Christ we have no reason to fear. When we feel like life is over, let’s remind ourselves that we have a new life in Christ and that He may do with it whatever He pleases and remember His great sacrifice to give us life.

Knowing how you respond emotionally will greatly help you in preparing to step into the full throws of labor. Give all of those emotions to God so that you can respond to your birth with all that He has given you.

It prepares us spiritually

I cannot think of many times in my life that have grown my faith as pregnancy did. God has given us responsibility over a life, and yet we are completely inadequate to grow, birth and raise a child apart from His grace. During pregnancy with everything you are feeling and experiencing, if you do not press into God, it can completely overwhelm you! While there are things that we do that can help or hinder our pregnancies, God alone keeps our baby alive and growing. God alone prepares our bodies for the ability to give birth. God alone holds us together when we’re having mental or emotional break downs because we do not know what is going on with our bodies. Pregnancy is a slow dying of self and being made more in the likeness of Christ, which is exactly what God promises to do with each of His children.

So run to God in the joys. Run to God in the confusion. Run to God in the pain and discomfort. Run to God in the fears. It will grow you so much and when the day comes to give birth, by God’s grace, you will have peace that He will see you through it.

It is easy to complain about pregnancy and all that comes with it, but it is such a gift, and I pray that this encourages you to welcome pregnancy as the gift that it is and let God use it to prepare you for the birth of your child and on into motherhood.

I have needed this reminder at the end every time, as often it would get unbearable. But I am thankful for each pregnancy that has taught me more about my God, and for each birth that has shown me God’s provision and love for me.

How have your pregnancies helped prepare you for birth?

 

Childbirth Conversation Recap

Last Saturday, four Sisters gathered together to share and talk about pregnancy, birth and bringing baby home. I never know what these times will hold, but this first Metro Atlanta gathering was so amazing. It was small, but wonderful, because we came together as the Body of Christ to love and encourage one another in this special season of life.

Two Sisters shared stories in such a beautiful way. We talked about practical knowledge to prepare for what is normal and some things that are abnormal. I love how everyone talked about their husbands and the role they play in this special time of life and really being partners in birth. One Sister is expecting her first and had good questions and learned more of what she needed to know more about. I love the variety and how we have different experiences and yet still  all come together to do life together. It is such a beautiful thing!

I’m so excited to host another one in the future as well as to continue to educate here. I would also love to do personal consultation for those that may not be able to attend an event. It’s so amazing to be a part of this!

Would you like to join a Childbirth Conversation gathering? Would you like to host a gathering? What you like to see at a gathering? Share your thoughts on gathering below!

Childbirth Conversations Are Coming!

I am so excited to announce our first Childbirth Conversation is happening in Metro Atlanta!

Who: YOU! This time is designed for women in all stages of life to come together to share experiences, ask questions and encourage each other. Whether you are just seeking to learn or finished having babies, epecting your first or your 20th this time is for you.

What: A time for women of all ages and stages to come together as women and learn from each other. We will have a few minutes of fellowship and snacks then dive into our conversation together.

When: March 10, 2018 at 9:30 am

Where: A dear Sister has volunteered her house in the Smyrna area. Please email me at Emmie@childbirthconversations.com for her address

Why: Because God calls us to help and encourage one another in all times

I cannot wait for this amazing time with Sisters coming together! Will you join us?