Why is talking about birth so important?
This is a really great question!
As a labor and delivery nurse I would frequently have women come in with a general knowledge of what was taking place but no real understanding of what was about to transpire. They had the expectation that they would labor for awhile, get their epidural (or not), relax and then push a baby out in an hour or less. Some had taken classes with minimal information but many thought what they saw on TV or the internet was enough to get them through.
They thought it would be easy.
I wondered at how these women had acquired such unrealistic expectations.
In caring for my patients it was challenging to see the lack of education. Often I would educate on what was happening and if labor was already going strong it was a quick education of what was happening and what they were going to have to do.
If only they had known what to really expect.
Occasionally I would have the woman whose circle of friends had told her every horror story they could think of causing tremendous amounts of fear. While I’m all for realism and sharing your story, this type of sharing often caused a lot of damage and the woman would be terrified at what was happening, affecting her labor.
Again quick education was needed, but often times it was hard to help them think clearly and focus on the moment.
If only they had known it might be different.
When I began to have my own babies, I spoke with women who had gone before me, especially about un-medicated labor, to find out what their experiences had been like. Though I knew about childbirth intellectually from working as a nurse, I began to see everybody had different experiences and different ways of coping in labor. They also made different decisions because of different reasons and circumstances.
As I prepared for my first birth I took advice from other women and combined ideas to make my plan. I realized how helpful this was and wanted to share this kind of support with others.
Seeing the lack of education and knowledge in the women I helped taught me how much we need to be having conversations about birth! Talking to the women, my Sisters in the faith, who had walked through labor and birth before me taught me four important reasons to have childbirth conversations.
- Talking about birth and learning from each other unifies us in the love of Christ and encourages us in our faith.
- Having these conversations allows us to learn from those who have gone before and/or allows us to encourage those who are coming behind us.
- We learn to trust God with our labor and birth as we hear what God has done for others and not give way to fear.
- When we converse with other women we get a diversified education about the incredible blessing of birth.
This is what I want to see among all women!
During my fourth pregnancy, God started giving me a vision for this type of unity and fellowship among His daughters. Too often our fears, our preferences, our thoughts about what we think is right divide us and keep us from being able to help each other. Birth, in particular, is very touchy for almost everyone.
But this should not be among God’s people.
We need, instead, a place to share experiences graciously and receive from others well.
How beautiful it would be for Christian Sisters to ask questions and to share stories without fear and judgement! And this is why we have these conversations. To bring about this beautiful sisterhood to love and encourage one another in who God has created us to be and bring Him glory.
Let’s encourage each other.
Let’s learn from each other.
Let’s trust God with our births.
Let’s educate ourselves so we’re ready for this incredible miracle.
I see a beautiful Sisterhood coming together to have these Childbirth Conversations. What about you?
We need each other, Sisters! God created us for community.